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Mental Health is overrated
I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you
You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
Statistics are used by people who have no proof
Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet
Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it
Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink
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